Bogley

[packfish]

Humor -  

 

 -------- A true story:

It was a hot afternoon when the air conditioning went out in the Tabernacle during General Conference. President Hinckley stood up to address the
sweating congregation and said, "It's warm. We're sorry. But it's not as warm as it's going to get if you don't repent!"

 

 

         Two Mormon missionaries in dark suits on bikes recently were left motionless and

         speechless when two scantily clad female joggers passed them at Sego Lily Drive

         and 1300 East in Sandy. In fact, they didn't notice a Sandy City police car

         behind them, until the officer advised over his loudspeaker, "Think of a hymn, Elders."

 

 

         A young Mormon was on his mission, carrying the Book of Mormon in his coat

         pocket when he was shot by an armed robber. Fortunately, the bullet lodged in

         the book and saved him. "See," the missionary said to his companion, "that

         bullet couldn't get through Second Nephi either.

 

  

         One Sunday evening my four year old daughter, Ginger, was explaining the

         contents of each of a series of pictures she had received in her primary class

         that day. She came to a picture of Jesus surrounded by little children. One of

         the children sat on Jesus' knee. In a solemn and reverent tone, my daughter told

         us that this was a picture of Jesus asking the little children what they wanted

         for Christmas.

 

 

         Two Elders were tracting in deepest Africawhen they came across a large lion.

         The Elders began to run. The slower of the two realized that he would not be

         able to outrun the lion, he dropped to his knees and prayed for heavenly father

         to convert the lion. When he open his eyes he saw the lion on his knees also and

         heard him say "Father in heaven please bless this food I am about to consume."

 

 

         How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb? It depends!

 

         - If it is the Relief Society it takes four. One to fix refreshments. One to

         bring the tablecloth. One to design the Center Piece, And one to screw in the

         light bulb.

 

         - If it is the Bishopric, forget it, they don't do light bulbs. They call a

         Priesthood Executive Council and delegate it to the Elders.

 

         - If it is the Elders it takes four. Three that don't show up, and one to change

         the bulb.

 

         - If it is the High Priests it takes five. Two to push the wheel chairs. One to

         handle the oxygen tank, One that falls asleep, And one to screw in the light

         bulb.

 

         - If it is the Home Teachers, it only takes two, But you have to wait until the

         end of the month.

 

         - If it is the Aaronic Priesthood, it only takes one. He holds the light bulb in

         the socket and the whole world revolves around him.

 

 

         -Why did God create woman? Because he looked at Adam and said: "Oh, I can do

         better than that!"

 

[DiscGo]

I really liked the lightbulb one.

[MTpockets]

I liked the one about the three elders not showing up. Maybe they are out doing their home teaching. :nod: