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savanna3313
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Posts: 1521
Location: Southern transplant to Salt Lake
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:00 pm Post subject: Equal Opportunity Jokes - everyone gets slammed |
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Ok....it's a slow day. Here's another one.....
Equal Opportunity Jokes… everyone gets slammed. Otherwise it’d be discriminatory! :haha:
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
! What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
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accadacca
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Posts: 7659
Location: On Your Screen
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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hesse15
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 378
Location: slc and sardegna
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| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:09 am Post subject: |
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good job Savanna
they are funny
and yes italians we cannot talk whithout moving both arms |
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savanna3313
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Posts: 1521
Location: Southern transplant to Salt Lake
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| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:29 am Post subject: |
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hesse15 wrote: good job Savanna
they are funny
and yes italians we cannot talk whithout moving both arms
I have been asked on more than one occasion if I was Italian or had Italian heritage because I can't talk without using my hands either! :five: |
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dbessee
Joined: 15 Dec 2005
Posts: 98
Location: Longmont, CO
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| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:20 am Post subject: |
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| :roflol: :roflol: :roflol: |
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