Top 10 Reasons Why Halloween is Better Than Sex

[savanna3313]

Top Ten Reasons Why Halloween is Better Than
~~ SEX ~~

~~10~~ You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack


~~9~~ If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again


~~8~~ The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some


~~7~~ You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy


~~6~~ The person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else


~~5~~ 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy


~~4~~ If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months


~~3~~ It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning


~~2~~ Much less guilt the next morning


~~1~~ If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!


:ahhh:

[tanya]

I love it!

:roflol:

[Iceaxe]

If you think Halloween is better then sex I'm guessing you are not doing something right.... :roflol:

[tanya]

If you think Halloween is better then sex I'm guessing you are not doing something right.... :roflol:


Maybe you should come and teach us. :naughty:

[savanna3313]

If you think Halloween is better then sex I'm guessing you are not doing something right.... :roflol:


Maybe you should come and teach us. :naughty:

I don't know........let's see - a 3 minute bout of passion compared to free chocolate all night ??? hmmmmmm....... :lol8:

Good grief darlin'! I didn't write the damn thing - I just printed it because I thought it was funny. :haha: btw ...... I agree with Tanya. :five: Perhaps that can be your next book......."How to "do it" right" :ne_nau:


:popcorn:

[tanya]

If you think Halloween is better then sex I'm guessing you are not doing something right.... :roflol:


Maybe you should come and teach us. :naughty:

I don't know........let's see - a 3 minute bout of passion compared to free chocolate all night ??? hmmmmmm....... :lol8:



Good grief darlin'! I didn't write the damn thing - I just printed it because I thought it was funny. :haha: btw ...... I agree with Tanya. :five: Perhaps that can be your next book......."How to "do it" right" :ne_nau:


The perfect halloween...

Doing it right for Shane..... Young female, super high heeled shoes, short skirt that covers only have the buttox, push up bra barely covering 36DDD breasts, long - bare tanned legs, long hair, full lips and an intense desire for 46 year old white hair men.

http://cache.halloweenmart.com/images/ip015425.jpg

Do I have it right Shane?

[Iceaxe]

http://cache.halloweenmart.com/images/ip015425.jpg

:slobber: :slobber: :slobber: :slobber:


intense desire for 46 year old white hair men.

:lol8:

Just remember... us old guys know stuff :naughty:

[Windwalker]

http://cache.halloweenmart.com/images/ip015425.jpg



Just remember... us old guys know stuff :naughty:

Thirty years of being a cop and I "NEVER" had any partner near that nice. Imagine going to a bar fight, the only thing I'd have to pick up off the floor would have been the dropped jaws.

Ice Axe is right "Just remember... us old guys know stuff :naughty:"
We have to, it makes up for everything else we've lost over the years.

[Alex]

Well share it with us young studs then! :roflol:

[tanya]

Thirty years of being a cop and I "NEVER" had any partner near that nice. Imagine going to a bar fight, the only thing I'd have to pick up off the floor would have been the dropped jaws.

Ice Axe is right "Just remember... us old guys know stuff :naughty:"
We have to, it makes up for everything else we've lost over the years.

You get no argument from me. With a few rare exceptions men are best after age 40!

[Alex]

So what happened to the whole theory of "Women peak late, while men peak early?"

[savanna3313]

So what happened to the whole theory of "Women peak late, while men peak early?"

It's more of a *quality vs quantity* thing. :2thumbs: Of course, if you find a man who can combine both, then make sure you hide him from your girlfriends! :haha:

[tanya]

So what happened to the whole theory of "Women peak late, while men peak early?"

Younger men want sex, lots of it. They are sweet... sexy.... charming.. hard to resist. But --- Older men get more perverted and caring in some interesting ways. Older men have also learned to appreciate sex more. I like how a grey haired man looks too. Lines of maturity are sexy in men ---- Like in your boating photo... I love the wrinkles that show when you smile.

Or maybe you are right and it is just us women and I am assuming that the older men are the same? hmmmmmm?

[tanya]

So what happened to the whole theory of "Women peak late, while men peak early?"

It's more of a *quality vs quantity* thing. :2thumbs: Of course, if you find a man who can combine both, then make sure you hide him from your girlfriends! :haha:

See! Savanah knows! As usual she is spot on! :2thumbs:

[Alex]

See! Savanah knows! As usual she is spot on! :2thumbs:

Call me perverted or whatever, but the words "spot on" totally meant different meaning to me after I read it.....this whole thread and those words made me think of totally something different....something that Shane would brag about.

[savanna3313]

See! Savanah knows! As usual she is spot on! :2thumbs:

Call me perverted or whatever, but the words "spot on" totally meant different meaning to me after I read it.....this whole thread and those words made me think of totally something different....something that Shane would brag about.

Hmmm.......I thought Tanya meant that I was "right on the mark", "totally correct", "hitting the nail on the head" etc....etc..... maybe I am wrong?? :ne_nau: If so......enlighten me. :nod:

[Alex]

nevermind, must be that English to Russian and back to English translation... always gets me in the end :frustrated:

[savanna3313]

nevermind, must be that English to Russian and back to English translation... always gets me in the end :frustrated:

My ex-brother in law used to use that excuse. He was from Iran and always blamed any language issues on that Farsi/English translation. :haha: I have Russian clients.....maybe they will translate for me. (just kidding!!)

[tanya]

[quote]

Call me perverted or whatever, but the words "spot on" totally meant different meaning to me after I read it.....this whole thread and those words made me think of totally something different....something that Shane would brag about.


Educate us. I want to know. :nod:

[Alex]

My ex-brother in law used to use that excuse. He was from Iran and always blamed any language issues on that Farsi/English translation. :haha: I have Russian clients.....maybe they will translate for me. (just kidding!!)

Oh oh.... shhhh don't blow my cover :twisted: That's how I got "A"s in college :nod:

[Iceaxe]

something that Shane would brag about.

Just remember.... it ain't braggin' if you can do it :2thumbs:

:lol8:

[Alex]

Just remember.... it ain't braggin' if you can do it :2thumbs:

:lol8:

:lol8: men brains think alike.... Shane totally got what I was saying

[savanna3313]

:lol8: men brains think alike....

Now there's a scary thought! :eek2:

:lol8:

[Alex]

Now there's a scary thought! :eek2:


Why is it scary? You women can crack any man's brain open with just a smile....men are too easy :frustrated:

[shanehadman]

If you think Halloween is better then sex I'm guessing you are not doing something right.... :roflol:

TRUE THAT....TRUE THAT

[greyhair biker]

SO...what's this 'halloween' that I keep hearing about :naughty: Yeah, I'm just a dirty 'old' man...

[savanna3313]

If you think Halloween is better then sex I'm guessing you are not doing something right.... :roflol:

TRUE THAT....TRUE THAT

I'd better retract. :haha:

I just edited myself..........Hey!!! Sombeech! :five:

[tanya]

SO...what's this 'halloween' that I keep hearing about :naughty: Yeah, I'm just a dirty 'old' man...


Not old.... I was thinking you look .....


...... really good! (Love that shot Justin put on the banner of you) :2thumbs:

[savanna3313]

SO...what's this 'halloween' that I keep hearing about :naughty: Yeah, I'm just a dirty 'old' man...

Hell if I know.....I posted something I thought was funny and people seem to now think I need help in differentiating my "fun". :ne_nau:

:lol8:

btw......I love that commercial about the "who's agitatin' mah dots" :haha:

[greyhair biker]

Yeah, I used to love to watch him on "Night Court" back in the 80's but I can't remember his name!

[greyhair biker]

Which shot of me on the banner? Can't be better than your pic - that is for damn sure :naughty:

[tanya]

Which shot of me on the banner? Can't be better than your pic - that is for damn sure :naughty:


You are so sweet too :nod:

http://uutah.com/forum/files/deercreekcamp_005.jpg

[greyhair biker]

That's the one that graces another page I have on...don't die of shock...myspace :ne_nau:

[tanya]

That's the one that graces another page I have on...don't die of shock...myspace :ne_nau:


Where would that page be? :popcorn:

[greyhair biker]

Wade Liedtke on myspace - can't miss it -

[savanna3313]

:nono: Better be careful Tanya.....you might be pretty close to agitatin' his dots!!!

:lol8:

[tanya]

:nono: Better be careful Tanya.....you might be pretty close to agitatin' his dots!!!

:lol8:


:five:

[greyhair biker]

:roflol: that's what I get for having to head to work...I missed out! :blbl: :haha:

[tanya]

:roflol: that's what I get for having to head to work...I missed out! :blbl: :haha:

There is always later :naughty:


More on the topic: Why Halloween can be better than sex.

You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.

The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some.

It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

Less guilt the morning after.

It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're somebody else, because you are.

Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.

If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go again.

You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

You can do the whole neighborhood!

If you wear a Bill Clinton (or Batman) mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.

If you get tired, nobody gets an attitude.

Maybe aches, but never guilt the morning after.

Dressing up and fantasizing isn't considered kinky.

I'd like to get a little something in the sack tonight.

Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch

If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

Let me see your big sack!

Can I eat your Zagnuts?

Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.

You scared me stiff!

He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

[greyhair biker]

The old song 'I want candy' by BowWowWow just popped into my head for some reason :naughty: Followed by Dr. Frankenferter - Rocky Horror.....am I sick/demented or what?! :crackit: :haha:

[tanya]

The old song 'I want candy' by BowWowWow just popped into my head for some reason :naughty: Followed by Dr. Frankenferter - Rocky Horror.....am I sick/demented or what?! :crackit: :haha:

The best men are. :phew:

[accadacca]

What about Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper. :naughty:

[tanya]

What about Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper. :naughty:


I think we have a different type of man in mind handsome. :nod:

[Iceaxe]

Sam the Sham's song, Little Red Riding Hood :2thumbs:

[greyhair biker]

'...you make me quiver with antici........................pation....' - :slobber1:

[savanna3313]

Rock Candy (you're hot, sweet and sticky) by Montrose

:popcorn:

[tanya]

Rock Candy (you're hot, sweet and sticky) by Montrose

:popcorn:


~sigh~ Hot.... Sweet... Sticky.....

Men!





Oh... Rock Candy... well...I better not say what I am thinking.....

Think Outdoors..... Rock Candy Mountain

Mountain!

[stefan]

uh oh ... someone's gonna get moderated ... beware of :afro:

[tanya]

uh oh ... someone's gonna get moderated ... beware of :afro:

He has not been around. We are free to play! :twisted:

[savanna3313]

uh oh ... someone's gonna get moderated ... beware of :afro:

He has not been around. We are free to play! :twisted:

I agree.....he's been FAR too quiet! My guess is we haven't gone out of bounds - yet. :lol8: If we do, we will get the full wrath of SOMBEECH! :crackit: :crackit: :crackit:

[tanya]

Rock Candy (you're hot, sweet and sticky) by Montrose

:popcorn:


Dang it woman!!!!!! You got me lost! I thought I was playing word games and here I am on the Halloween thread. Never mind my lost post up there. :repost:

[savanna3313]

Rock Candy (you're hot, sweet and sticky) by Montrose

:popcorn:


Dang it woman!!!!!! You got me lost! I thought I was playing word games and here I am on the Halloween thread. Never mind my lost post up there. :repost:

I was following the song thread that greyhair biker started.......then acca and Ice added theirs. So......it's a kinda Halloween musical thread now I guess. It's definitely getting kinda twisted, eh? :twisted:

[greyhair biker]

...pour some sugar on me! I'm hot, stickey sweet...from my head to my feet :rockon: :spankme:

[greyhair biker]

OH OH OH! Guess what tonight is?! - the Rocky Horror Picture Show fest at my house ---NO, I don't dress up like Dr. F - but I'll probably go as Adam Ant - SO, I just got off my last graveyard and am headin for bed for a few hours...Getting a MASSAGE around 1pm( oh baby!) and then let the festivities begin!! :popcorn: :friday: :five:

[tanya]

...pour some sugar on me! I'm hot, stickey sweet...from my head to my feet :rockon: :spankme:


cause i', so sweet when it rains I melt :friday:

[savanna3313]

OH OH OH! Guess what tonight is?! - the Rocky Horror Picture Show fest at my house ---NO, I don't dress up like Dr. F - but I'll probably go as Adam Ant - SO, I just got off my last graveyard and am headin for bed for a few hours...Getting a MASSAGE around 1pm( oh baby!) and then let the festivities begin!! :popcorn: :friday: :five:

You've got to post photos from that festivity! :2thumbs:

Adam Ant....wow - I remember ant music! :haha: Ever notice that Adam Ant and Dr. Frankenfurter kinda look alike........ :ne_nau:

[Iceaxe]

...pour some sugar on me! I'm hot, stickey sweet...from my head to my feet :rockon: :spankme:

Feel that tingling on the back of your legs???

That the ants crawling up your leg to take a bite out of your candyass.

:lol8:

[greyhair biker]

HEY, How'd you get a picture of me?! Not the Dr. - Adam Ant?! - Photos of the party will not be postable :nono: something about a dress code and moderation :ne_nau: :five: